Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Time for a recap.

You know that something is a little quirky with your life when you look at your room. I took a good look at mine this morning.

And I say 'this morning' because I certainly did not look at it when I fell asleep last night.

And I say 'fell asleep' because I certainly did not 'go to bed' last night. There was no decision- our 2nd to last dress rehearsal with Facing East ended somewhere around midnight (the infamous and inevitable late night rehearsal with Matt Neves) and I came home fully intent to do all the things I needed to do. But I decided just to sit on my bed for a moment....just a moment and rest...I wouldn't fall asleep...I mean, I still needed to take the make up off my face & neck, take the pins out of my hair...I wouldn't fall asleep....

I wouldn't think so, but I did...and I woke up at three that morning with the lights still blaring and myself looking like psycho's mother. Took out my pins, turned out the lights and fell back asleep. But that morning I took a look at room, my bedroom floor and my bed. My bag, my scripts, a few of my clothes, my books are the main coverage on my floor....and lets not forget line notes. Facing East line notes EVERYWHERE, on the floor they are wallpaper FLOORPAPER, and on my bed they create a nest that you wouldn't think possible for a human to sleep in but....there are always firsts. I woke up with just that added bit of stress that each day has been bringing up to this moment. We open tomorrow.

It's hard to really sum it up into words. This journey for me has been so long, and I don't just mean the journey that Facing East has been, it has been an incredible process, that I cannot believe I was lucky enough to be a part of. That the stars lined up just enough for me to be able to walk on that stage, and be Ruth's thoughts. But it isn't just the rehearsals, it's been my entire college experience. These four years of going to classes and learning techniques and how to be and how NOT TO BE perfect. You don't think you've really learned anything, retained anything...until you see a resemblance of a finished project. In no way am I claiming to be a finished project...that doesn't happen in life I don't think...at least not with something like living. But I am beginning to see an actress in me. When I auditioned & applied for the BFA (Bachelors of Fine Arts) I wrote in my application paper the woman I wanted to become. The actress I invisioned one day seeing on a stage- myself. I beginning to see her, trust her. I'm not perfect, and I'm especially not perfect in this play...but I am happy, ready, and proud of her. Which is all a person can really ask for, and I can ask for much. I have a great play, cast, crew and enveloping surport system. A person can be very blessed. I've been waiting for this role, for this play ever since my first semester at SUU and and tomorrow night when I go on that stage I need to remember that this is what I've wanted to do for a long, long time. And new challenges on the horizon. Last friday I recieved the news that I was nominated for an 'Irene Ryan', prestigious acting award and will be then invited to compete at ACTF (American College Theatre Festival) in California come Spring.

This play has gotten so much support. What with the passing of Prop. 8 and the hurt, blame, and settling going around it seems that this play could not have asked for better timing. This is so important. On facebook I put in one last request & invitation for my friends to come see this show. It's so important, we need to evaluate are feelings and we need to stay connected.
here's what I said in facebook...I liked how I put it:

"This might be a little 'jumping the gun' on my part.But I just wanted to send out another general invitation to 'Facing East' by Carol Lynn Pearson that's going up @ the SUU Black-box this week. The Crew, myself and Josh & Justin have worked so hard on this project, and truly have a sincere love for it and its important message. The themes and threads woven in this piece are so important especially now with the hurt that's flying around the country, what with the passing of Prop. 8 and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in a negative spotlight. For those of you who do not know much about 'Facing East' it centers around Alex & Ruth McCormick, an upstanding LDS couple, grieving the suicide of their homosexual son Andrew. 'Facing East' is written by esteemed author & playwright Carol Lynn Pearson who myself and the cast had the pleasure of speaking to last week. She is a member of the LDS church and lost her homosexual husband to aids before turning full tilt to the consideration and rights of those with same-gender attraction, it is 'her calling' she puts it. As I said she is still a member of the LDS church and loves the support and love she has been surrounded by with this project. This play looks at that gray area, and gives direction on such a topic of confusion and pain. No one's life should be cut short due to their pain, and this play is about fellowship, and carrying each other's burdens, so that they are burdens no longer. The play does not bash the LDS church, nor does it bash homosexuality. You may not know what is right or what is wrong, this play is not about what is right and what is wrong, but what is true....and what is true is loving and uplifting our gay brothers & sisters. If you are lenient to see the show I encourage you that much more to see it. If you personally, have any questions for me concerning the play, I would be happy to answer them. This play has been a tremendous journey for me and I am deeply proud of it.
'FACING EAST' by Carol Lynn Pearson
SUU Black-Box Theatre in the Auditorium
NOV. 12-15TH @ 7:30pm, with a matinee on Saturday @ 2pm.
Tickets are going fast with an average of 40 tickets remaining for each night, get your tickets fast. Tickets are $5 for SUU students, and $10 for...everyone else. Hope to see you there."

Click here to see the events page:

And I extend that invitation to each of you that may read this. Who mostly probably are on facebook and have already read that invitation. I kind of want to end tonights blog with that. Maybe write more later...after Facing East is finnished. Go work on lines...go work on some shakespeare....and maybe sleep.

Probably not.

We need to remain connected.

Song from musical 'Spring Awakening', which lyric's are perfect for Facing East

You fold his hands and smooth his tie, you gently lift his chin.
Were you really so blind, and unkind to him?
Can't help the itch to touch, to kiss, to hold him once again.
Now to close his eyes--never open them....
A shadow passed, a shadow passed,
yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.

All things he never did are left behind.
All the things his mama wished he'd bear in mind,
And all his dad had hoped he'd know.T
he talks you never had, the saturdays you never spent.
All the 'grown-up' places you never went.
And all of the crying you wouldn't understand.
You just let him cry, 'make a man out of him.'
A shadow passed, a shadow passed,
yearning, yearning
For a fool it called a home.

All things he ever wished are left behind.
All the things his mama did to make him mind,
And how his dad had hoped he'd grow.
All things he ever lived are left behind.
All the fears that ever flickered through his mind.
All the sadness that he'd come to own.
A shadow passed, a shadow passed,
yearning, yearningFor the fool it called a home.

And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
Whistles through the ghosts still left behind.