The Wonky Week

Did this week not suck for anyone really?

I can't count the number of times I have heard said 

"This is just the worst week of the modern life thread on our sovereign earth."

Well not exactly those words, but I did here that this week was the worst from many various people.  Many various people, not just all the number of theatre majors & minors that got particularly beefed this past week, what with the postings of cast lists for next semesters spring shows.  Bitter Ellesse?

Don't even get me started.

School makes one seeing 'oneself' (I sound retarded) in a interesting position.  I am experienced with rejection, I AM experienced with rejection and I know that as an actress that's going to come with the territory, heck with being canadian that is going to come with the territory.  And I understand that if I audition and I give it all the best I can give, and don't get cast that is fine with me.  I also agree that one needs to take iniative with an audition, look the director/casting director in the eye and almost say 'I know what you want, and guess what I have that in truckloads'.  The auditions for Wizard of Oz were quite unorganized, and as a result of that un-organization so where The Seagull auditions.  With all the confusion instead of them just being on last Saturday they stretched 

out all throughout this last week. 

 If this were the professional world, I would be fine.  As far as The Seagull is concerned I feel like I did very good readings, I was proud of my callbacks.  But as far as Wizard of Oz is concerned I just feel hurt & played upon.  Because this isn't really a professional theatre, this is an educational environment where working creative relationships are made with professors which become both friends & colleagues.  Certain things are said, certain things are praised and promised...and then to have those things ripped away come Senior year, where you'd think you could go out with a panache...much less to have those things taken away before you could even fight for them, needless to say hurts.  I danced for the dance choreographer for Wizard of Oz, the director hardly looked up, I understand that.

"....I still haven't had a chance to read, will you be doing the readings for my part the next coming days?"

"Yes we will.  We'll let you know when those will be."  We had at the time been told decisions would not be made

 until Friday.

Next day afternoon, it's posted.  Wednesday comes around and The Seagull cast list is also posted.

Things just kind of suck sometime.  

But I know you need to look past it and see the open opportunities available between the lines.  Friends and I have come to the conclusion that we can no longer wait for opportunities to be granted to us, but that we shall make our own.  Either way they will be experiences and we will be growing which is what we need.  Every three weeks we plan to put together a show, we would like to do (e.g. Miss Julie, Spoon River Anthology, Closer, Play, etc) and make these opportunities for ourselves.  It can only make you stronger  .I am extremely lucky to be involved with MFA production of Facing East by Carol Lynn Pearson, which went through it's second week of rehearsals this last week.  I've decided to make this experience my required Capstone project, when I take the Capstone class next semester.  Capstone class is basically where you present a final portfolio "project" to the board.  Showing your leadership and individuality on a creative project, and this experience to me would certainly suit that board.  I love rehearsals.  We just finished blocking the hour long play this morning and I am so excited to begin polishing what we have now begun to mold.  

When we discuss the different layers of the play, choices that could be made, strengths and weaknesses and how & when to play them, I am pleased to see how my opinions and idea's are welcomed and respected....I feel like I am a valued active contributor and my idea's come up to par.  Its a really nice feeling.  

As suggested by my director Matt Neves, I began reading a book which begins with the stories of Marilyn & Fred Matis, and their late son Stuart to which Facing East is loosely modeled around.  The book is called 'In Quiet Desperation, Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction'.  

The first part tells the story and experience of the Matis family as I previously stated, the second half is from the view point of Ty Mansfield, an active and participating member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, living his life with same-gender attraction.  I would boldly state that this should be a must read for everyone, especially members of the church on this delicate and tender issue, because ignorance must come to an end.  It will do nothing but hurt our loved ones and their loved ones, and these issues need to be looked to.  Things are becoming more and more gray these days.  Argume

nts are burning and racing, whether your reading this being against Prop. 8 or for Prop. 8, the one thing that certainly can never become gray is the commandment that we love one another.

Though this has been a 'wonky week' for me, it has also been a week of re-evaluation.  I've made some strong recent friendships & relationships with people I don't think I'll ever forget.  I feel a strong circle of love and support around me at all sides and I am extremely thankful for my family and my friends that do nothing but show their love for me in word and in deed.  The time has come for an escape, even if it's only for two days.  I'm excited to join my best friend Chelsea and friends in California tomorrow for our little get-a-way.  I'm driving down with some other friends in the department who are also heading to Cali this evening, J.P. Kentros, Jessie Metcalf, Jennifer Whipple & Rhett Guter, we together will get as far as Vegas this evening, and then drive the rest of the leg to L.A. tomorrow morning to arrive in Cali tomorrow afternoon.    I will then meet up with some friends and see Wicked for the second time @ the Pantages theatre.  Southern Utah University gets a Harvest Weekend (which is really just an excuse to go hunting and shooting) and so we will hang out Sunday, and then enjoy Monday @ Disneyland to drive home that evening.  

WOOOOOOOO DISNEYLAND!!

Last year around this time we did our first Disneyland trip, last year it was with my friend Tyler Hillam, and I'm sad that he can't join us again this year.  But for all of you, if any of you have some last minute plea's for my disneyland trip...perhaps a picture of a certain something...I could bring home a melted Dole Whip for you, etc.  I'll be living it up on Pirates of the Caribbean ride...or wondering why 'It's a Small World' is still closed...

oh maybe because...the small world is getting bigger, and they had to widen the canals and the boats to fit the ever widening population.  Sad huh.

Let's cross our fingers that this year we don't get trapped within the California Fires, and let's hope for a safe drive.

Love you guys!

I hope last week especially wasn't really the worst for all of you, remember things can only get better, right?

(knocks on wood)

Miss you all!

Till next week!

-ellesse